


Kkuta asf

by weishnn



Category: IZONE (Band), NCT (Band)
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, Engagement, F/M, Het, How Do I Tag, Irene is there for like a second, Lee Taeyong Being an Asshole, M/M, Mentioned NCT 127 Ensemble, Mentioned NCT Dream Ensemble, Mentioned WayV Ensemble, Ten is horny, and taeten ayyyy, but everyone else is gay god bless, but i love him i swear, f in the chat, i sound like an ot21zen f in the chat, im sorry, irene gives sakura advice, kkuta only het couple with rights, markhyuck if you squint, miyawaki sakura-centric, ok but seriously tho idk how to tag this shit, please read im begging, qian kun is a gg stan, takes place after kick it and fiesta promotions, what a queen, yuta token het
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:08:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23606542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weishnn/pseuds/weishnn
Summary: Sakura deals with stinky men ew but its NCT and WayV so ig its ok
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Taeyong/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Miyawaki Sakura/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6





	Kkuta asf

Sakura wakes up to her phone loudly ringing, and angrily grabs it to see a bright number 10 flashing. She sighs as she answers. “Konichiwa, Ten!” She giggles, hoping the Thai boy understands her very basic Japanese that she has been attempting to teach him for weeks now. “Haha, Sakura, I know that means hi,” she snorts at his dumb cocky voice. “Ok sure, but I have yet to hear your group put out a Japanese song, loser.” There’s a long pause. “Bitch, my group is Chinese, dafuq,” Sakura rolls her eyes and gets to teaching him a few new Japanese words and phrases. He’s picking them up rather quickly, which means he’s been studying hard. Finally, men aren’t completely useless. 

“That’s enough for today, Ten,” Sakura goes to end the phone but then hears a… MOAN???? “TEN????” She freaks out, wondering if he’s ok. “S-Sakura-chan-” And with that, Sakura hangs up. Ha ass is not having it today. She’s dealt with weird ass men all her life (AKB48 dealt with nasty ass men 24/7 so she knows), and NCT and WayV are no exception. Ten probably has an anime kink, just like Sakura’s sexy Japanese boyfriend, Nakamoto Yuta. That man can GET IT. She’s so lucky to have found him, and Momo reminds her daily as she constantly bitches about how lame Heechul and SuJu are. Nct may be weird, but at least they’re not weird m*n like SuJu. Sakura prides herself in that fact, and lends a shoulder for Momo to cry on while Jihyo flexes her relationship with Kang Daniel for the 20th time that week. 

“Who was that lol,” Sakura sighs as she sees Taeyong. What is it with men today? “Hi, Taeyong.” She wants to be neutral with him as he’s known to get horny, especially for women with short hair, and for Sakura, short hair is her look. “Yuta is nothing compared to me. And why would you even bother with Ten? He’s not even part of NCT anymore,” Taeyong makes a gagging face that leaves Sakura ready to gag too. “Are you Japanese? If not, boo get out and go practice Kick It lol,” She brushes past Taeyong angrily. 

“HEY,” Taeyong slams her against the wall, his manly strength surprising her. “You’re hot as fuck, Sakura. Yuta’s weak ass can’t handle you. He doesn’t even get lines in our songs lol. You and I, we get lines. We’re centers. We own the stage. Koreans are obsessed with us.” Taeyong growls. “I wasn’t always center. Wonyoung- may she rest in peace- was center. You, on the other hand, have always been center.” She pushes him away. He’s persistent though, and kisses her roughly (cue Boss intro). 

“WHAT THE FUCK??” Sakura hears Yuta cursing in every language he knows as he walks in on Taeyong and Sakura. “Yuta, what's up," Taeyong nods, not even phased by Sakura's hottie Japanese boyfriend walking in on them. "Yuta! It's not what you think," Sakura shoves Taeyong off of her. "Yuta. Chill. All we did was fuck lol. Bye, I think I hear Mark yipping," and with that lame ass excuse, Taeyong was gone. 

"Sakura, I jinja can't believe you :(" Sakura wants to question how he said :( outloud but she knows it's definitely not the right time. "We didn't fuck! You think I would fuck Taeyong? Ain't he gay?" Sakura frowns. "No, because I would floor it everytime I saw him. You know I'm homophobic." Sakura does know. "Yuta, support the gays. Just about all of NCT is, so you would constantly be flooring it." Sakura has so much power that she immediately makes him an ally and he forgets about his homophobia. 

Anyway, now that that's settled, Sakura tries to convince Yuta that Taeyong is just horny. "Bitch, men aint shit, Taeyong included. I don't care that he's hot, a writer and composer, a talented rapper and dancer, an incredible leader, and just an all rounder." Yuta growls, turning away. 

"I have to go to dance practice." Sakura knows its a lie because 127 ended Kick It promotions and his ass is not in NCT U🙅🙅. "What dance, I'd like to see you try." She's the nation's dancer, not him. "Bitch, 127 could do Fiesta, but Iz*One could never do Kick It and that's on new thangs." Sakura cries even though she knows his dumb man brain is wrong. 

"Yuta stfu. You wish you were half as famous as I were. I've seen too many a-arm-ar- (shes gagging give ha a minute).... a*my call your group a FLOP. Never seen anyone talk shit about me." She's right and all of 127 knows it, she can even hear Mark yip in affirmation. 

"Thank you, Mark," she appreciates his dog ass. "That's because we're so famous even ratmys are intimidated duh." Yuta definitely does not have a stan twt, but Sakura does. She knows. She pulls up her tl, "@ot7btspop just said you guys flopped and only got 1 win even though you're an SM group. Plus," she leans in close to his ear, "you used bundles." Yuta gasps and shudders. Damn a*my. 

"Damn, thats cold asf," Johnny says in english because he's from America or whatever (smh dumb North Americans, Sakura bets Johnny yips too, but secretly and only for Irene).

"Ok, but she may be spitting facts, but she's been talking to Ten too, Yuta. She's just surrounded by very fine men, such as myself. Nothing wrong with that." Jaehyun states, which earns him a groan from everyone in the group. "I'm sure she vibes with all of NCT and WayV." Ah, so Jaehyun does have a brain. Sakura is just a likeable person, she can't help it. 

"But Taeyong's a dumbass if he thinks he can hit on Sakura, the girlfriend of a member in his group." Donghyuck is also smart, which Sakura appreciates greatly. "Taeyong's horny and frustrated ofc. He's just mad he don't got ass," that's a lot coming from Doyoung, who's literally shaped like a plank. 

"Stfu Doyoung," thankfully, Taeil's ass makes up for all of NCT's lack of cake. "Taeyong could join me for some squats." He shrugs, posing in front of a mirror like the Instagram baddie he most definitely is. "No, your ass isn't from squats. That's all natural," Jungwoo shakes his head, because he too is a proud owner of a naturally phat ass. Either all of 127 is being annoying asf or the author just wants to include everyone, who knows ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯, but Sakura is not having it. 

"Next time you can talk when Kick It gets more than one win," she spits, walking out of the room. That should shut them up, as Kick It promotions are over and unless they release another song called Kick It (not surprising tbh as both units have a song called Boom), their mouths are shut. 

Of course, men don't understand simple things, because the next thing she knows, Yuta is there. "Sakura, my flower. Let's binge watch Naruto together and talk about this later when no one else is around, ok?" He's still mad, and so is Sakura, but she nods and settles in bed with him. Yuta picks their favorite episode (never seen Naruto so you be the judge of that) and continue watching through the night. Sakura falls asleep with her head resting on Yuta's shoulder, and finally for the first time that day, everything feels peaceful. 

***  
Sakura wakes up in Yuta's arms, which she would be grateful for if it weren't for the events of last night. She sees her phone ringing and prays to every god there is that it's not Ten. She's glad to see it's Lucas instead. 

"Yo, 'kura! We're coming to Korea! Thought I'd let you know cause Kun says he wants to see you perform Fiesta. He's been streaming the mv all night, god can you believe it? He even got Hendery and Yangyang to join in." While Sakura is pleased to hear the Kun Wiz*One agenda and how he's spreading the word of her obviously incredible group to others, she's not ready to see Ten. 

"Um, is Ten there?" She decides she'll yell at him now and then beat his ass once he arrives in Korea. There's a pause, "hey Sakura! Lucas should've said sayonara to you, yeah? See, I've been practicing!" Sakura wants to throw her phone across the room, "Ten stfu you horny bitch." Ten actually listens and goes silent. "Is learning Japanese some type of kink for you? Is that how you learned Chinese so fast? Are languages some weird ass kink?" She's frustrated because men are weird and stupid. 

"Sakura, let me explain! I want to learn Japanese to not only get close to you, as friends, but I also wanted to learn it to perform Chain so i can show 127 I would eat their ass up. But Chain is a Japanese song (we don't talk about Chain Korean version💔). And I get horny because I'm a m- ma-... m*n. I'm sorry, Sakura. Please forgive me." 

Sakura does, because he censored m*n and because she also understands wanting to eat 127 up (she's been practicing Kick It and she knows she would serve). 

"Hey, when WayV finally gets to Korea, we plan on going out for lunch with Renjun, Chenle, Mark and Johnny. You know, the ones not born and raised in Korea. You and Yuta should definitely join us." Sakura agrees immediately because she loves hanging out with Chenle, one of her longtime bffies. They talk a little more, Sakura refreshing his Japanese, before eventually hanging up. 

"Yuta," she shakes her sleeping boyfriend awake. He whines, and for a brief moment Sakura wonders if he's been spending too much time with Mark, but he eventually wakes up. "We're gonna meet with WayV and a couple NCT members for lunch. Wake up now or we're gonna be late." 

Sakura leaves her boyfriend to wake up and decides to take a long shower. When she's done, Yuta is ready for his shower, so she busies herself with getting ready for going out with the others. She decides to wear a cute pink dress that resembles the cherry blossoms during springtime. When Yuta finishes his shower, he wears jeans and a t-shirt cuz apparently he has no fashion sense. 

Getting to the restaurant is easy, and when they arrive, Sakura immediately spots Mark and Johnny. Sakura and Yuta greet the two and follow them inside. Sakura hears WayV before she sees them, as they're all incredibly annoying (but she still loves them). 

"Sakura!" It's Chenle that spots them first. Sakura is glad to see her best friend, and she runs to sit next to him. Yuta sits on the opposite side, and Mark and Johnny join them. Everyone is seated, and only does Kun's "Fiesta soty" break the awkward silence and cause them all to start laughing. "Periodt," because duh ofc Sakura agrees. 

"Nah, it's obviously Kick It," ofc Mark had to open his mouth and start yipping. Bruh. "Mark shut yo dog ass up and go yip somewhere else," Hendery rolls his eyes while Xiaojun actually boos. "You don't even support your own group?" Mark pouts. "Fuck outta here with that ot21 shit," Sakura high fives Kun for not only being a gg stan but for also not being a dumbass.

"N e wayss, how's you and Yuta?" Yangyang smirks while Sakura rolls her eyes. "Yuta biggest dick I said what I said," Ten laughs and Sakura rolls her eyes when Yuta agrees. "We're perfectly fine. It's just that Taeyong's been causing some problems." Sakura shrugs as Renjun and Chenle lean in, suddenly intrigued. 

Ah, speak of the devil, because Sakura can see Taeyong approaching their table. Where the fuck did he come from? "Foreign line only, get out!" Kun is pointing towards the door. "Come on now, Kun. Haven't you missed me? And, hey Ten! How's learning Chain going? Why not ask Sicheng for some pointers lol," Taeyong smirks as Sicheng and Ten turn away from him. 

"Taeyong, please leave." Sakura's sick and tired of him always being in her business. "Awww, Taekkura fighting that's so cute!" Mark grins, and everyone (besides Taeyong) glares at him in response. "Mark? Do us a favor and shut up," Johnny covers Mark's mouth with his hand as the rest of the table turns their attention back to Taeyong. 

"Sakura, you're the prettiest girl here," Sakura wants to tell Taeyong she's the only girl here, but holds her tongue. "You know how I feel! Even if you weren't originally center- may Wonyoung rest in peace- you ate all the other girlies up. Please, Sakura, there's so many things I could say about you. For you, I would do the regular challenge (🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮) everyday if I could. My heart jumps and pops everytime I see you!" The entire table is gagging now, except Mark who's probably writing these down to say to Donghyuck later. 

"Taeyong. Stop." Yuta barks, causing everyone to freeze. Sakura's sweating, Yuta's never barked before. After dealing with Mark's insufferable yipping, she finds it kinda hot. Taeyong rests a hand on Sakura's shoulder, and that's when Yuta goes feral. He jumps Taeyong, pulling at his deep fried hair that practically falls apart in his hands from. how dyed it is. The cat fight is almost comical, and Sakura wants to pull out her phone and send a video to Worldstar. 

None of the people in the restaurant seem to care (because I'm too lazy to write that) that 2 of some of the biggest idols in the industry are fighting. Even though no one cares, Sakura is still extremely embarassed. She picks up her things. "I gotta go," quickly waving bye to the rest, she heads outside. 

With no idea of where to go, Sakura finds herself outside Irene-unnie's room. She knocks on the door and waits patiently, while also secretly going feral because uhhHHhHH?? HELLO?? Miss. Irene, Korea's it girl? M*n hater? Queen asf. Sakura loves her and aspires to be her. 

Irene opens the door, and when she sees Sakura she gasps, "come on in, come on in!" Sakura gratefully follows Irene to the living room, and they settle down on the couch together. "What's wrong?" The nation's it girl asks the younger nation's it girl. 

"Taeyong's a dumbass." Irene nods in agreement. "He keeps hitting on me, even though I have a boyfriend!" She shakes her head angrily as Irene nods. "Why do men suck?" Sakura cries as Irene rubs her back. "Lol idk what to tell you. My bf literally yips at me. But, I know Yuta truly loves you, no matter how dumb Taeyong is. And from what you've told me, he's very protective of you. I appreciate that in a m- ma-... m-a-n." Irene manages to choke the word out and flash Sakura a bright smile. 

"He is one of the good ones. Even Taeyong's horny ass is. They're all so sweet to me. I just don't know what to do." Sakura sighs dramatically. "You know… You didn't hear this from me ofc, but rumour has it Taeyong has the hots for Ten. They're always flirting lol. Taeyong challenged Ten to perform Chain for him, and is always speaking Japanese to Ten as a way to taunt him. God, if you heard the stories Johnny tells me," Irene shudders. 

Honestly, that makes a lot of sense. It explains why Ten is so adamant on learning Japanese and explains how he got so horny from hearing Sakura speak it. And honestly, Taeyong was probably acting out from being jealous of how often Sakura and Ten talk. "Holy shit, thank you Irene! I gotta go!" Sakura jumps off the couch, rushing to the door. "Go get yo man!" Irene cheers. 

Sakura rushes to the NCT dorm and bursts into Yuta's room. She finds him laying in bed and nursing an ice pack against an ugly looking bruise on his arm. "Let me help you with that," Sakura soothes as she adjusts the ice pack to sit more comfortably. "Sakura I-" Yuta begins, but Sakura holds a finger up to shh him. 

"Yuta. I know why Taeyong, and god even Ten, are acting weird. And I understand why you're mad. You're such a sweet, protective boyfriend." She grins, running a hand through his long hair. "Omg, what did I do to deserve such a beautiful girlfriend. I got so lucky. I can't believe I let Taeyongs yip ass get to me so bad. I'm sorry." Sakura wants to tell him that Taeyong most definitely does not yip, but that's not necessary right now. 

Yuta suddenly shifts, the ice pack sliding off his arm. Sakura scolds him as he bends down to retrieve something from his nightstand. "Hey Sakura," his voice is slightly muffled as he digs around his nightstand drawers. "I know this isn't the most fitting time, but…" He turns around, producing a red velvet box. "Will you marry me, my flower?" 

Sakura almost pisses herself right then and there. HOLY FUCK???!??!!??? "Uh???? YES!" She shrieks as Yuta opens the box, a flashy ring showing. "Yuta what the fuck where did you get this?" She watches him slide it on her ring finger. "Eh, I used SM's money, so ofc I had to get the most expensive. Lee Sooman's ass doesn't know, he's too busy with SuperM to care what's going on with me. Man is balling." But is he mismatched? Sakura wonders if he's also a big boy throwing 3 stacks. 

"Holy fuck, Yuta. I love you. Speaking of fuck…" Sakura smirks as she switches off the lights. She loves her boyfriend. Wait, scratch that. She loves her fiancé.

**Author's Note:**

> please this is the worst thing i probably will ever write and i spent 2 days on this when i literally have english hw due soon ummm... anyways please dont take this seriously in the slightest i swear its all a joke lmao. s/o to @minheescult on twt for helping me with this!! go follow ha NOW. also follow me (shameless self plug my b) @MARKTH0T. im surprised you read this whole thing, but if you did like it, I promise to write spinoffs in the future that are just as trash. Good night its almost 1am here LMFAO


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